


Dueling On The Not So Bright Side

by MiracleBreaker



Category: Yu-Gi-Oh! GX
Genre: Comedy, Crossposted on Fanfiction.net, F/M, OC Cards, Obelisk Blue Jaden, crowler likes jaden, i was very bored when writing this lmao, mindy is a thot
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-08
Updated: 2020-08-09
Packaged: 2021-03-06 05:01:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 13,626
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25787761
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MiracleBreaker/pseuds/MiracleBreaker
Summary: A "hilarious" re-write of GX featuring the one and only, Jaden Yuki, the flawless Kuriboh-haired kid, riding his way through Duel Academy. His adventure will be full of twists and turns, but with his friends and cards on his side, nothing will stop him from being the new King of Games. (Features OC cards, made for the purpose of being funny) (Characters will use different decks)
Relationships: Tenjouin Asuka | Alexis Rhodes/Yuuki Juudai | Jaden Yuki
Kudos: 9





	1. Chapter 1: Because of Sledgehammers

**Author's Note:**

> So… Yeah. This is a thing. Before you start reading, this story was made for comedic purposes only and should not be taken too seriously. In addition, character personalities have been changed with plot power, and decks have been heavily changed. 
> 
> It should also be noted that a random word generator was used for this fanfiction and OC cards are also used. Certain cards will also have their anime effects *cough* *cough* Card of Sanctity.
> 
> Lastly, yes. I am kind of back into writing and will continue the other fanfics soon… probably. Maybe.
> 
> With that in mind, enjoy the fanfic. Please don’t kill me for updating rarely.

Somewhere, in a quaint house located in Domino City, a young teenager was sound asleep on his custom-made Elemental Hero bed. This highly impractical bed looked rattled and tattered, with years of history embedded in its bent frame and faded colour. The teen was an average boy in height and build for a 15-year-old and had a mix of light and dark brown hair that ended at the base of his neck. This unfortunately also gave said hair an uncanny resemblance to a Kuriboh. His room was filled to the brim with tons and tons of Duel Monsters-related merchandise, from posters of famous Duelists to an assortment of wind-up toys of the Dark Magician Girl. On his messy desk lied one of Kaiba Corp’s most famous devices… as it was the only device that people actually cared about; the duel disk, created by the rich, egotistical, dragon-loving orphan known as Seto Kaiba. He designed this expensive piece of technology for only the best reason; a tournament he arranged because he was butthurt about losing a children’s card game to a sexy Egyptian pharaoh inside of a very short teenagers body. Oh, and also for having shitty parents. The teen’s duel disk was sharp, slick and grey, almost perfectly mimicking the original design that was used in Battle City, but for some reason, had an immeasurable amount of Kuriboh stickers attached to it in every area except the card slots. Inside, there was a stack of 40 brown cards with black spirals on their backsides. These cards are known as Duel Monster cards, used to play Duel Monsters, a children's card game about holographic monsters beating the everloving shit out of each other. 

The teen was spread eagle on his bed, snores occasionally escaping out of his drooling mouth as he slept peacefully on his tattered bed. His sleeping face was plastered with a wide grin as he dreamed about… shellfish with... tiaras. He was sound asleep with absolutely nothing disturbing him. But all good things come to an end, as outside the household, the introverts worst enemy began to rise up in the sky.

The sun. 

And what came with the sun was the morning, 7 AM to be exact. 

**RING! RING! RI-**

Suddenly, the brown-haired boy’s eyes flashed open as his left hand dashed towards the side of his bed. In the blink of an eye, his hand grasped the handle of a carefully and conveniently placed sledgehammer. His pupils jolted sideways, staring with unending anger and fury at the source of the terrible noise that woke him up from his oddly pleasant shellfish tea party dream. His soon to be squished alarm clock. Swiftly, he jumped up into the air from his bed and slid his free hand onto the handle of his sledgehammer before slamming it down onto the poor time-telling device, obliterating it into a pile of broken glass and bent metal. The boy stared with cold and dead eyes at the hunk of trash he created and dropped the sledgehammer back in its original resting place at the side of his bed, somehow not damaging a single floorboard in the process. He yawned, took a step forward on his bed and then collapsed onto the bedsheets, knocked out cold as if the event had never registered in his mind at all. 

After around a minute passed by, the boy's eyes jolted awake again, with an expression of excitement on his face. He slowly sat up and turned his head towards his table on the far side of the room, eyes focused on his duel disk. He smirked to himself. “It’s time for Jaden Yuki to finally make it to Duel Academy!” the boy monologued before immediately tripping on his sledgehammer, causing him to squeak in surprise before slamming his face into the cold, hard floor. Thankfully, Jaden Yuki is absolutely flawless and took no damage.

\---

It was a beautiful day in Domino City. Then again, a beautiful day in Domino City pretty much amounts to cloudy, smog-filled skies, people running around in a panicked frenzy and skyrocketing housing prices. On one particularly busy street, Jaden Yuki was busy sprinting towards a Kaiba Corp building, avoiding a large mass of people walking in the other direction. For some reason, he decided to wear a red shirt and a thick grey jacket in the middle of summer but he paid no attention to his illogical dress code as his short span of focus was focused on something other than the heatwave that was melting Domino City. 

“Crap! Crap! Crap! I’m going to be late!” yelled a panicked Jaden Yuki as he ducked and weaved through the crowd of people on the street. 

Suddenly, from the corner of his eye, he saw a cute and fluffy kitten, like a REALLY fluffy kitten, one of those really poofy and adorable ones, napping on the side of the road. His head turned to get a better look but before he could comment about its adorableness, he randomly smashed into a random person, knocking him into the air and then onto the ground as well as knocking all of the cards out of his duel disk. Somehow, the impact had not knocked over the other person, nor scratched either of them. 

  
  


If Jaden were looking up, he would have seen that the man he had bumped into was a tall, lean man who was dressed in leather and chains. More noticeably, he would have seen this man's overtop gold and purple hair-do that spiked towards the heavens. If you were anybody relevant in this universe, you would instantly realize that this was Yugi Moto, the King of Games, the Legendary Duelist, the Prodigy of Domino City and most importantly; the guy who makes Kaiba butthurt.

Slightly frazzled, Jaden slowly regained his bearings before getting up from the floor. He shook his woozy head a bit before facing the person he had hit with an apologetic face. “Sorry for bumping into you. I’m kinda in a rush,” he said as he turned back around to pick up some of his fallen cards. He picked up a few and blew some dust off of them before carefully placing them back into the deck holder of his duel disk. Miraculously, not a single card was bent or creased what so ever. Yugi made a mental note to ask Pegasus the next time they met about what in the actual fuck those cards were made of. 

Yugi watched in amusement as the brown-haired teenager scrambled to gather up all of his cards. “You’re a duelist aren’t you?” the man asked, taking a quick look at the… interesting assortment of cards that were scattered across the ground. 

Jaden picked up the last few cards on the pavement and dusted them off, gently blowing the dust off and carefully placing them back into his deck. “Gee...What brought you to that conclusion?” he sarcastically asked, not paying attention to who he was talking to. 

Yugi chuckled, amused at the teen's obliviousness. Smirking, he reached into his spare deck box, searching for one particular card in there that for some time now, had been shaking ever so slightly, as if it was calling for something... or someone. Taking out the card, he looked back at the teen in front of him and smirked. “Well, you have a Duel Disk, Duel Monster cards and Kuriboh-like hair. Indicators of a potential duelist. Or an overeager fan who has no idea what they are doing. I'm willing to believe you are the former,” Yugi replied in a slightly mocking tone.

Jaden quickly turned his head around. “What do you mean Kuriboh-like hai-” he pouted but quickly stopped as he realized exactly who he had randomly bumped into on the random street he was on. In hindsight, he realized he probably should have recognized him sooner. How could anybody not recognize that hair?

Yugi took the card in his hand and handed it over towards Jaden. “Something tells me that this card belongs with you kid,” he said as he dramatically flipped one of his strands of hair, turned around and slowly walked away. 

Jaden blankly stared at Yugi, his jaw dropped as far as it could as he held one of his idol's cards in his palm. “T-Thank you… I’ll make you proud random and famous stranger that I have never seen in real life until this exact moment.” he stammered towards Yugi before turning his focus towards his new card. 

Giving the card a quick read over, his eyes widened like dinner plates. The card he was given was a monster card with an image depicting a small, female furball with claws. One of the claws held a blue and pink magical wand and the creature had a cartoonishly large, blue and pink helmet. The creature on the card was also winking and cartoonish hearts were drawn beside it. It was the greatest card that Jaden had ever seen in his life, one that gave him visual euphoria basically equivalent to spending 30 years in the mountains to reach Nirvana, finding enlightenment, or anything else along those lines. It was so great that he screamed on the spot due to the pure shock the card generated. 

Loudly.

\---

Yugi was still walking on the street, using the shade provided in the forest of skyscrapers he was surrounded by to avoid a constant stream of fangirls and attention. Then, he heard an ear-splitting scream from behind him. 

“HOOOOLLLLYYYY SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIT!!” 

He chuckled a bit at the boy’s reaction and smirked to himself. It seemed like the spirit he just gave away had a new fan. “Sucks to be her,” he thought as he continued chuckling at the reaction of the new master he had given to the duel spirit. Meanwhile, from the heavens above, Pharaoh Atem was also laughing his ass off.

\---

Meanwhile, Jaden had finally stopped screaming. He quickly slid the card into his duel disk and checked the time. 

Instantly, he paled. It was 9:58 and he was supposed to be at the Kaiba Corp building at 9:45... He was now very late. 

Perhaps it wasn’t wise to meticulously and slowly place his fallen cards back into his duel disk when he bumped into Yugi. Contemplating this thought, he quickly took off towards Kaiba Corp. 

Soon, he saw the building in front of him as he began to run out of breath. All he needed was one jump onto the fence to make it to the reception, where he could take his exam and get into the academy. He gathered the rest of his energy and jumped as far as he could. This was the culmination of everything he had ever worked for. There was no possible way for him to screw up now. 

…

He hit the wall. 

\---

Around that time, in front of the elevated building, 2 receptionist girls were bored out of their skulls. One of them groaned in boredom, looking down at her watch. The other girl was on her phone watching a video about Yugi Moto hurling copious amounts of insults at Kaiba. Suddenly, they heard a loud "THUD" from nearby. With nothing better to do, the 2 receptionist girls dashed towards the railing of the building to find the source of the noise. Looking down they saw Jaden, plastered against... no, INSIDE the wall. Shakily, Jaden fell out of the wall, face somehow untouched. “I...I’m here to.. take the exam for Duel Academy. Name… Jaden... Yuki.” He said, before shaking his head and falling face-first into the ground. The girls sweatdropped before one of them went back to their desk to mark him present as the other slowly dragged him into the building. 

Inside the building, there were several different dueling stages, each one hosting a different dueling test. Several applicants were dueling against various teachers at Duel Academy in their practical examinations. Surrounding the duel stages from above, were the already enrolled students as well as examiners watching the applicants. In one particular ring, a small, short and blue-haired kid was busy dueling against one of the school's proctors. The boy wore a small pair of glasses and a nervous look.

In his duel, neither players had any monsters on the field, while he had a face-down card. In front of him, his opponent summoned a Leghul, a purple centipede monster and attacked him directly, startling him. “H..How dare you attack me with that bug! I..uh… activate a card…” the boy whimpered as his life points dropped slightly from the attack. The proctor sighed and grumbled as he watched the boy struggle to click a button on his duel disk. 

The proctor sighed, “What could you possibly have that would help you in this situation shortie? Just give up already!” he yelled in a tone of annoyance. During the entire duel, he had painstakingly learned that his young opponent was… not great at everything with the exception of dueling. Somehow he even struggled to place cards on his duel disk at times. 

However, to the proctor's surprise, the blue-haired boy didn't back down, instead, he seemed to be getting even more pumped up. “Who are YOU calling shortie? Huh? I’ll teach you!” he yelled in a surprisingly malicious, but not intimidating tone due to his smallness. 

With icy fire in his little eyes, he finally managed to press the button on his duel disk to activate his face-down card. A sharp glint in his eye accompanied a cold sneer on his face as the card revealed itself. 

“I activate the most powerful Trap Card I have!” he cried out in his adorable, high-pitched voice. The proctor yawned, not paying too much attention to his subpar opponent, expecting at most an equally subpar card. This, however, only fueled the boy’s anger. “I activate the Trap Card;  **REALLY FLUFFY KITTEN!!!** ” he screamed as the holographic version of the card flipped up, revealing a pink card with a really fluffy kitten.

The proctor froze as a chill went down his spine as the boy yelled out the trap card's name. “Impossible! It can’t be!  **REALLY FLUFFY KITTEN?** ” he yelled as his face morphed from boredom to fear in less than an instant.

The boy smirked sadistically at the proctor's reaction. “ **Really Fluffy Kitten** turns your  **Leghul** into a very fluffy kitten. On your next turn, it turns back. But for now, it is a very fluffy kitten.” the boy said as he drew a card from his duel disk, abnormally perfectly, contrasting his errors from the rest of the duel. “Now, with this card! I WILL PUNCH THE KITTEN!” he shouted, revealing a monster card from his hand, depicting a cartoonish red fist punching a kitten on what looked like a cartoonish tank with eyes. “I SUMMON  **KITTEN PUNCHEROID** !!!” he yelled, placing the card on his duel disk.

\---

Kitten Puncheroid (Earth)  Lv 4

ATK: 1500 DEF: 1400

Machine/Effect

If this card attacks a monster with “Kitten” or “Cat” in its name, activate the following effects. 

  * Punch yourself for being a heartless monster.
  * Double this monster’s attack points you heartless monster.
  * Punch yourself again because you are still a heartless monster.



\---

Upon hearing the boy's intentions, the proctor froze with a horror-stricken face. “No, I won’t let you harm this kitten! I surrender!” he pleaded as he swiftly placed his hand on his deck holder, signalling a surrender.

The boy smirked as the duel disks deactivated. He turned around and left the arena, leaving the proctor on his knees, traumatized by the really fluffy kitten that was about to get punched. The blue-haired boy cackled as he left the arena, “Nobody… nobody messes with Syrus Truesdale and gets away with it.” he said, walking up towards the stands. 

Then, in an instant, his face returned to normal. His eyes closed shut and the young student-to-be stumbled forwards as if he was disorientated. Upon opening his eyes once more, there was not a single trace of malice, anger, spite, bitterness, devilment, gall or any other synonyms you might find within that group. "Ugh... these headaches... at least I... won? " he halfheartedly said to himself as he picked himself up and continued to walk towards his seat.

\---

In another duel stage, another equally intense duel was happening. On one side was a smug-looking proctor who had 2 monsters on his side of the field, Millenium Shield and Big Shield Gardna, both very high in defence. His opponent was a black-haired teenager that doesn’t look like the main character. On his side of the field was a simple Vorse Raider card along with 2 face-down cards. Both players somehow had 4000 Life Points despite being on turn… 40-something. We could probably track the actual turn count, but their decks don't seem to change size no matter how much they draw... well, at least until they deck out.

The proctor laughed out loud, “It seems you are unanimously, utterly unable to undermine my life points due to my awesome, super, special defence deck!” he yelled proudly as he ended his turn. 

His opponent just sighed in annoyance. “You sir, are an idiot,” he stated as he drew his sixth card and ended his turn. 

The proctor stopped laughing and drew another card. “How am I an idiot? You haven’t even dented my life points! Your deck is probably made of pathetic and weak cards applicant!” he yelled in mock fury as he ended his turn, placing another face-down card.

The boy rolled his eyes and drew another card. Glancing at the card he drew, he smirked as he saw what card he had drawn. Meanwhile, the proctor was still boasting about his awesome super special defence deck. “Alright, applicant! Multiple choice quiz! Ya got two monsters starin' ya down that you can’t even touch! Do you, A, throw in the towel; B, beg for mercy; or C, run home to mama to replace those pathetic cards?” the proctor said, grinning like a madman.

The boy heard the proctor's mock quiz and calmly replied. “I choose D, Quote the King of Games,” he said as a smile began to creep on his face. “My deck has no pathetic cards, O not so wise proctor. But it does contain... “ he monologued, before revealing his hand to the proctor, shocking the man. “The unstoppable  **Exodia** !” the boy cried out as a holographic pentagram began to draw itself in the air. 

The proctor’s jaw dropped. “Impossible! I-I.. totally should have seen this coming…” he mumbled, realizing the glaring flaw in his awesome, super, special defence deck. 

“I've assembled all five special cards. All five pieces of the puzzle!” the applicant yelled as golden limbs began to reach out from within the pentagram. “It honestly wasn’t that hard considering you haven’t attacked once. I spent most of my turns discarding overdrawn cards!”

“ **Exodia** ! Ahh, it's not possible! No one's ever been able to call him… uh... that part of the quotation isn’t valid anymore… shit.” the proctor screamed as Exodia fully appeared on the field. 

“Well, that part of the quotation may no longer apply, but this part does.  **EXODIA** ! **OBLITERATE** !!!” the applicant shouted as Exodia launched a giant glowy ball of death at the proctor.

“AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!”

\---

Meanwhile, from above, several students were watching the duels below. In particular, a group of three snobby blue cloaked students were watching the duel between the proctor and the not very important kid. The two on the sides were clearly minor characters, but due to the insanely spiky and black hairdo the middle kid had, he was obviously a character worth mentioning. 

“Wow, that guy's pretty good, don'tcha think, Chazz?” one of the students said as he watched Exodia absolutely destroy the poor proctor. 

“He's a punk. We wasted our childhoods in duel prep school for the past three years, we're ready for the Academy. These kids don't know what they're getting into, but they'll learn. The hard way. The Chazz Princeton way! And when I mean the Chazz Princeton way I mean the beat the everloving shit out of every fucking person here way.” the middle kid named Chazz said, barely paying attention to the two kids beside him.

\---

On the other side of the building, Jaden Yuki had finally managed to get inside and was marvelling at the recently summoned Exodia. On his left was Syrus, who was praying that he had passed the exam... considering he forgot basically everything he did during the exam, that was completely justifiable. Noticing the really short kid beside him who clearly looked very shy and introverted and would clearly freak out if talked to due to possible insecurities that would be revealed later on, Jaden decided to start up a friendly conversation.

“Wow, that guy summoned  **Exodia** . And quoted Yugi, the King of Games.” Jaden said, turning his head to face the kid beside him. 

Syrus jumped a bit from being talked to but quickly recovered. “A-oh sorry! Yeah, that's Bastion Misawa, 1st place applicant, quoting the King of Games. Wish I could see the actual King of Games though.” he said, calming down after seeing the teen beside him meant no harm. 

“Sucks to be you then, I just met him today! Look at the card he gave me!” Jaden said cheerfully as he snatched the card out of his deck and showed it to Syrus. 

Syrus deadpanned. “Yeah right, as if you-” The card was shoved in Syrus’s face and his eyes widened. “HOLY SHIT ON A SHIT STICK THAT’S COMPLETE PROOF THAT YOU SAW HIM YOU LUCKY BASTARD, THAT IS THE MOST AMAZING CARD I HAVE EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE.” he yelled upon seeing the card that was shown to him, before promptly fainting.

At that moment, Bastion walked up to the stands and sat in front of Jaden and Syrus. Jaden noticed this and decided to strike up another friendly conversation while Syrus recovered. “Hey, sweet moves out there Bastion!” he said, catching Bastions attention.

“Thank you, but my opponent was a fool. Who might you be?” he replied in a monotone voice as he took a seat. 

“Name’s Jaden Yuki and the not conscious person beside me is… I don’t know.” Jaden replied.

At that moment Syrus jumped up awake. “HOLY SHIT I JUST HAD THE GREATEST DREAM ABOUT THE GREATEST CARD EV- wait it was real wasn’t it.” he cried out before noticing that Jaden was still carrying around the card. 

“Probably. Hey, what’s your name, blue?” Jaden asked the now conscious person beside him. 

“Syrus… Syrus Truesdale…” he replied sluggishly before noticing that Bastion was now in front of them. “Oh hey, Bastion! Great duel out there!” he complimented. 

Bastion closed his eyes and stretched a bit. “Not much of a challenge when the proctor refused to attack at all,” he said. 

Jaden was quick to follow up. “Yeah, you just might be the second-best duelist here!” he cried out with excitement. 

This caught Bastions attention. Second best? 

\---

Up in the teacher section of the upper stands, a… clown… no… a… gay… a ...no... _ (Why don’t you go Google what Dr. Crowler looks like because I'm not fucking describing it.) _ was busy packing up after grading his current assignments concerning the applicants. Suddenly, he was interrupted by another random teacher. “Uh Doctor Crowler, there happens to be one more applicant who is late due to injuries,” he said in a shaky voice. Crowler sighed in annoyance. At least someone got his title correct for once. “Who is this applicant and what is his score?” he asked. The other teacher fumbled around with his papers looking for the required information. “Uh..uh… HERE… wait no… Ah-ha! Jaden Yuki… he somehow flawlessly passed the written portion and for some reason is actually the real number 1 candidate... Except he forgot to write his name so by technicality, he’s dead last.” the teacher replied. 

Crowler deadpanned. He expected a slaking slacker of slackington who was late and injured because they were lazy and didn’t bother to walk around the wall in front of the building. Quickly he snatched the paper out of the other teacher's hand and reviewed it. 

_ Jaden Yuki.  _

_ Age: 15 _

_ Gender: Male _

_ Test score: /Debatable/ 100 / 0  _

_ Note: Technical score is due to lack of a name, however, it is clear that he wrote the exam.  _

_ Note-2: Lateness was due to injury caused by impact with the wall in front of the building. _

Crowler blinked. Somehow he was right about one thing, the student did indeed smash into the wall in front of the school. After thinking for a minute, he realized the perfect solution to the problem at hand. “I suppose I must…” 

**RING RING RI-**

Suddenly, Crowler's eyes widened as his left hand moved towards the side of his desk. In the blink of an eye, his hand grasped the handle of a carefully and conveniently placed sledgehammer. His pupils jolted sideways, staring with unending anger and annoyance at the source of the interruption of his conversation. His soon to be squished phone. Swiftly, he jumped up into the air from his seat and slid his free hand onto the handle of his sledgehammer before slamming it down- wait… his phone. Awkwardly, he put down the hammer and grabbed the phone to answer the call. 

“Yes? Hello?... Yeah, I was just about to… This call is kinda not necessary… Absolutely!”

He put down the phone and sighed. “So who was that just now?” the bewildered teacher beside him asked. “Sheppard, making sure I give every kid an equal chance. Something I WAS ABOUT TO DO. JEEZ! WHY DOESN’T ANYBODY TRUST ME!” he yelled before storming off. “W-wait! Which test deck are we going to use against him?” another teacher ran up to him and asked. Crowler smirked, “Since it’s unsure if he is any good, I’ll use my own deck!” he replied calmly before changing demeanour and stomping away. 

\---

**_Back with Jaden and friends…_ **

“Wait second-best? Then, who is firs-?” Bastion asked before being cut-off by the PA system. 

**-Jaden Yuki, please report to… actually, it doesn’t really matter which field you pick because they're all empty. Just get to a field...-**

Jaden jumped up in excitement. “Alright! Let’s do this!” he yelled before backing up a bit. 

He quickly turned to Bastion. “For your information, I’m number one!” He said before sprinting towards the edge of the stands and jumping off the upper level. 

Bastion and Syrus just stood there, jaws dropped. “Dear Lord! He’s either very talented or very crazy!” Bastion said in shock. “By the way, he was boasting, I think it’s more talent than craziness. Let alone the fact he has the best card ever in his deck.” Syrus replied, also in shock. 

**CRASH!!!**

“OW FUCK! PROBABLY SHOULD HAVE THOUGHT THIS THROUGH!” Jaden cried out from below.

“I stand corrected. Definitely crazy.” Syrus said with a sweatdrop. 

Bastion sighed and looked onto the field Jaden fell into. He frowned when he saw Jaden's opponent. “Well, it’s obvious he’s crazy, but let’s see if he is as truly talented at dueling as he says he is. Take a look at his opponent.” Bastion said, noticing Crowler staring at Jaden in disbelief. 

“What if I don’t want to look at his opponent?” Syrus yelled, looking in the other direction. 

“I wouldn’t blame you for it.” Bastion nervously said before changing his focus onto the now somehow recovered Jaden. “Wait… he’s not injured at all!” he yelled, looking at a completely flawless Jaden with no external injuries. Syrus just stopped staring and closed his eyes. “Tell me when it’s over. I prefer sane duels,” he said to Bastion. “Says the person who uses  **Really Fluffy Kitten** .” Bastion replied, rolling his eyes.

\---

On the dueling field, Crowler and Jaden had finally managed to get in a dueling position, ready to exchange a few words before the epic battle that would come next.

Crowler was the first to speak. “Hello little boy, I am Doctor Vellian Crowler, Head Department Chair of Techniques here at Duel Academy… even though we're not at Duel Academy yet… huh. Anyways, I will be your opponent, and unlike your other peers, due to a few circumstances, you will be facing something a bit more… challenging.” he said, readying his duel vest. 

Jaden’s eyes sparkled at the vest in awe. “Wow, a department head! And one who has a cool duel vest thingy! And I’m facing a bigger ch-” He said in excitement before he realized, “I forgot to write my name on the test… didn’t I.” he said in a much less excited tone due to his very obvious and amateur mistake.

“Yes. Yes, you did. Now get ready to duel kid, because this isn’t just any duel, to help you demonstrate your skill for evaluation, we will be playing 8000 Life Points!” Crowler said, before drawing 5 cards from his vest. He was a bit shocked at the fact that the kid managed to realize his own mistake, but it didn’t really matter at that point.

Jaden quickly recovered. “Whatever! I’ll make up for it in this duel, teach! So get your game on!” he yelled before drawing his own 5 cards. 

“LET’S DUEL!” the two yelled.

**[Jaden Yuki] vs [Dr. Crowler]**

**-8000 LP Duel, Challenger goes first.-**

Jaden began the duel and drew his sixth card. He stared at the cards, wondering what to play. In his hand were some of the most powerful cards that he had assembled over years of childhood, undergoing tons of traumatic incidents and thousands of weighed packs to assemble together.

His hand consisted of Kuriboh, Kuriboh… Wata- wait no that’s another Kuriboh, Winged Kuriboh, another Winged Kuriboh and Berserker’s soul. Great starting hand. Definitely nothing wrong with it. Yup. Absolutely normal hand. No funny business. Overpowered.

Jaden looked over his hand and came up with a self-proclaimed best strategy. “I end my turn!” he confidently yelled with a smile on his face, confusing everyone in the stadium and causing Crowler to have an anime-fall.

Crowler internally screamed.  _ “This is the kid that aced the exam? What? How? AGHHHHHHHH!” _ he thought, before catching the card that had ejected from his duel vest. He looked at the card, Heavy Storm. _ “Perfect, now I can end this duel as quickly as possible.” _ he thought. He turned his attention back towards Jaden, “Alright, young scholar! I set 2 cards face-down and activate  **Heavy Storm** !” he yelled. Two holographic cards appeared on the field but were quickly obliterated by a holographic windstorm. 

Jaden yawned. “Let me guess.  **Statue of the Wicked** am I right?” he said in a bored tone, not paying attention to the duel he was in. 

This got on Crowler’s nerves.  _ “Alright, maybe the kid has brains… at least in Duel Monsters” _ , he thought, remembering Jaden’s not so spectacular entrance onto the duel stage.  _ “But how dare he not pay attention to me! What a rotten brat, I won’t let him pass this exam! Of course, with an empty field, that will be easy.”  _

Everyone watched as the dueling field slowly became foggier and 2 golden snake-like creatures emerged from the ground. Crowler grinned. “You might have predicted my traps, but what about this? I tribute my two Token Monsters in order to summon the all-powerful  **ANCIENT GEAR GOLEM** !” he screamed. As he played the card, a gigantic machine built up of grey plating and gears in a large humanoid shape emerged from the ground. Upon emerging, the gears began to turn and the gigantic golems red-eye lit up.

(Ancient Gear Golem) Lv 8

Atk: 3000 Def: 3000 

\---

Meanwhile, from above, a blonde-haired girl and a tall, blue-haired boy, both dressed in blue uniforms were watching the duel from above. The girl stared at the monster with a disapproving look. “Welp, looks like you were right Zane, Crowler is an asshole.” the girl said. The boy, Zane, continued to watch the duel with a blank, emotionless face. “Well Alexis, at least we got to see the rare card Crowler had stashed up in his deck. Shame it has to be used against a player who can’t even summon a monster on the first turn,” he said in a cold voice. "Yeah, I guess. But maybe that kid had a bad starting hand, you know?” Alexis replied, staring at the kid with mild amusement. 

Somewhere else from above, Chazz and his goons were also watching the duel in amusement. “Kids fucked.” one of the boys said. “Well, this should be fun to watch. Sad it’s going to end so soon.” Chazz arrogantly said, chuckling at the situation Jaden had put himself in. 

Bastion and Syrus had similar reactions. “Huh, guess he’s just crazy.” Bastion commented. Syrus just nodded, acknowledging the 3000 ATK monster that was staring Jaden down.

\---

“Now, now, I hope you're not too scared of my legendary  **Ancient Gear Golem** ?” Crowler asked with a smug look on his face. Jaden just shrugged, changing Crowler's smug face into a scowl. This caused a lot of chatter from the crowd, mostly either people being impressed or calling him overconfident and arrogant.

“Well, maybe a bite out of your Life Points might change that!  **Ancient Gear Golem** , attack!  **Mechanized Melee** !” Crowler yelled, confident that he would absolutely destroy his opponent with ease. To his surprise, Jaden simply yawned and placed one of his cards from his hand into the graveyard. “I discard  **Kuriboh** and take no damage,” he said sheepishly. Crowler’s eye twitched at this. “Fine! I end my turn.” he screeched. 

Jaden looked at Crowler in amusement and drew another card. Before his mind had registered which card he had drawn, he heard a little squeal from somewhere. He looked around in confusion before looking down at the card he had drawn. Dark Magician Kuribon. And it was winking at him. He then looked up with a smirk on his face, confusing Crowler. “Well, let’s see you destroy this,” he said, setting a different monster on the field. “I end!”

Crowler drew another card and stared at the face-down monster, before chuckling a bit. “Young scholar, I believe I should tell you about my  **Ancient Gear Golem’s** ability. It deals piercing battle damage, you fool! Destroy that monster!  **Mechanized Melee** !” Crowler yelled once again. The golem wound up its fist and smashed into the other monster, revealing and destroying Winged Kuriboh.

(Winged Kuriboh) Lv 1

Atk: 300 Def: 200

Crowler’s grin turned into an annoyed frown when he saw the monster. “Judging by your expression, I take it that you know what  **Winged Kuriboh’s** ability is. Since he was destroyed, I take no damage.” Jaden said mockingly. 

\---

“Huh, that’s the second time that kid survived that Golem’s attack. Maybe he’s not as bad as we think.” Alexis said to Zane, staring at Jaden with mild interest. “Well, it doesn’t matter how many Kuriboh’s he has. He'll run out of cards eventually.” Zane replied.

\---

Crowler scowled. “Whatever, that pathetic  **Winged Kuriboh** might have saved you another turn, but you will run out of them eventually. Jaden frowned at Crowler's words and drew another card. He grinned when he saw what it was. Secret Pass to The Treasures. He looked at Dark Magician Kuribon in his hand and smiled, putting his plan into action. “Actually, I won’t run out, because this duel is over!” he yelled. 

Crowler frowned. “You’re bluffing!” he declared.

“No… not really. Now introducing… the best card in all of Duel Monsters!” Jaden yelled, before grabbing Dark Magician Kuribon’s card and holding it into the air. This caused a few people to guess what card he had since they couldn’t see it.

“ **Exodia** ?” 

“ **Blue-Eyes White Dragon** ?” 

“ **Swordsman of Landstar** ?” 

“Wrong!” Jaden answered, before dramatically placing the card onto his duel disk. “I summon,  **DARK MAGICIAN KURIBON** !!!” he yelled. Dark Magician Kuribon emerged onto the field and jumped into the air, waving her staff around. 

(Dark Magician Kuribon) Lv 2

Atk: 300 Def: 200

The crowd went silent before it erupted with cheering and squealing from the boys and girls respectively. Crowler, on the other hand, was not impressed. “That pitiful card only has 300 Attack Points, what could it possibly do to my  **Ancient Gear Golem** ?” he asked mockingly. Jaden was all too happy to answer. “Firstly, she gains 300 Attack Points for every Kuriboh card in my graveyard,” he answered.

Dark Magician Kuribon

Atk 300 - 900

“And before you say that it’s still not enough, I’ll activate another card from my hand.  **Secret Pass to the Treasures** !” he continued. When he played the card, a random treasure map appeared in Dark Magician Kuribon’s claw and she began moving her eyes left and right, reading the map. “This card lets a monster with less than 1000 Attack Points, attack you directly!” Jaden said, pointing at Crowler. “Now attack! **Dark Blazing Multiply** !” 

Dark Magician Kuribon put down the map and waved her staff around with a bit of trouble. This earned her an “Awww” from the spectators. Then, the staff glowed a bright green colour, before creating a giant Kuriboh-shaped fireball which launched itself at Crowler causing him to shriek upon impact. 

Crowler LP 

8000 - 7100

Crowler was about to speak up again, but Jaden interrupted him. “Now before asking what the point of that attack was, I’ll just tell you. Because I attacked you directly with a monster with less than 1500 Attack Points, I can now activate the Quick-Play Spell Card  **Berserker’s Soul** !” Jaden said. He then took his entire hand and placed it into the Graveyard. “Now I must first discard my entire hand. I should also say that I had 3 more Kuriboh cards in my hand so  **Dark Magician Kuribon’s** Attack Points increases!” 

Dark Magician Kuribon

Atk 900 - 1800 

**(Author’s Note: If I were you, I’d play the music “Fang of Critias” about now.)**

Crowler’s paled at this. “Now I must keep drawing cards until I draw a Spell or Trap Card. For every monster card I draw, Kuribon attacks! In addition, if you couldn’t tell, my deck has quite a number of Kuriboh cards so her attack will increase for every single one that I discard, and since I’ve already activated  **Berserker’s Soul** , the 1500 Attack Point limit no longer applies!” Jaden yelled. 

“W-wait! Time-out!” Crowler shrieked in fear. 

“A bit late for that teach! Time to pay you back for calling my cards pathetic! Draw!” Jaden yelled, he looked at the card he drew and smirked. “I discard  **Sphere Kuriboh** ! Kuribon, attack!” 

Dark Magician Kuribon 

Atk 1800 - 2100 

Dark Magician Kuribon waved her wand and fired another fireball at Crowler, causing him to scream in pain even though they are holograms that can’t hurt people. 

Crowler LP

7100 - 5000

As Crowler recovered, Jaden drew his second card. He inspected the card and then stared at Crowler, making eye contact. He smiled making Crowler pale even more. “Monster Card,” he said, showing that it was Clear Kuriboh. “It can’t be!” Crowler screeched, before being blasted by another fireball, knocking him to the floor. 

Dark Magician Kuribon

Atk 2100 - 2400

Crowler LP

5000 - 2600

Jaden quickly drew his third card and revealed it as Winged Kuriboh Lv10. “Looks like this is it teach! I drew a Monster Card!” he declared, before tossing the card into the graveyard. Crowler screamed as a final fireball smashed into him, reducing his Life Points to zero.

Dark Magician Kuribon

Atk 2400 - 2700

Crowler LP

2600 - 0

**Winner: Jaden Yuki**

\---

Crowler groaned in defeat as the holograms disappeared. 

“That’s game! So, this means I passed right?” Jaden asked, grinning and scratching the back of his head. 

Crowler stood up and glared at Jaden, his face was visibly shaking with anger. He stomped towards Jaden and towered over him. Everyone gasped as tension began to rise.

Suddenly, his scowl turned into a smile and he began to laugh. Everyone in the room stared in shock, students and teachers. Someone actually made Crowler laugh? Several students checked their calendars. Nope, still wasn’t 2012, the world hadn’t ended yet.

When he stopped laughing he extended his hand towards Jaden. “I never thought I would ever see the day… Welcome to Duel Academy Jaden! Even though we're not there yet.” he said cheerfully. Everyone else in the room just stood there, mouth agape. This kid actually got Crowler to like him! Who exactly was this kid? 

“Alright!” Jaden cheered, before snatching his Dark Magician Kuribon card and staring at it with glee.  _ “Thanks, Dark Magician Kuribon. Couldn’t have done it without you.” _ he thought before waving goodbye and walking out of the stadium.

\---

“Wow, that kid has a future here. Something tells me that this is going to be a very interesting year.” Alexis said out loud. She turned to Zane only to find that he was no longer beside her, instead, walking away silently.

\---

“Wow, he did it,” Syrus mumbled, still shocked about Jaden’s victory. Bastion stayed quiet, with a small grin forming on his face.  _ “Nice. I could use a little competition.” _ he thought to himself, before also leaving the stadium. Since the try-outs were over now, other applicants followed suit. All that was left to do was wait for the results to tally up before the passing applicants would go ahead and leave for Duel Academy.

\---

(To be continued in Chapter 2: The Chazz Princeton Way.)

\---

Dark Magician Kuribon (Dark) Lv 2

ATK: 300 DEF: 200

Spellcaster/Effect

This card gains 300 ATK for every monster with “Kuriboh” in its name, in the GY. During your opponent's turn, during damage calculation: You can discard this card; you take no battle damage from that battle (this is a Quick Effect). 

\---

Really Fluffy Kitten (Trap)

(Normal Trap)

If your opponent attacks you directly, the monster used to attack you has its name changed to “Really Fluffy Kitten” and it’s Atk and Def are reduced to 0. This effect lasts until your second End Phase after this card was activated.” 

\--- 

Jaden Yuki’s Current Deck: Kuriboh Deck/ Dark Magician Kuribon Support Deck

Syrus Truesdale Current Deck: Mentally Degrading Roid Deck

Bastion Misawa Current Deck: Offensive Exodia Prototype Deck

Doctor Crowler Current Deck: Standard Ancient Gear Deck

\---

Here’s an OC card that will be used Next Chapter:

Parasite Kuriboh (Earth) Lv 1

ATK: 300 DEF: 200

Insect/Effect

You can discard this card; you can replace all Equip Spell Cards and Non-Union monsters that are being treated as Equip cards with a Parasite Kuriboh Token (Lv 1/Insect Atk: 300 Def: 200) (this is a Quick Effect). Any monster equipped with a Parasite Kuriboh Token cannot deal Battle Damage and deals 500 damage to its owner’s LP when removed from the field. 

\---

**Hope you enjoyed this chapter! - Miracle**


	2. Chapter 2: The Chazz Princeton Way

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: some of the jokes may be inspired by the Yugioh Abridged series created by LittleKuriboh. If you have a fear of a bridge, then kindly press Alt F4. (don't actually)

It was about a week after the applicants for Duel Academy had taken their dreaded entrance exams and now, it was time for the passing students to leave and head to Duel Academy for 3 years of learning how to play a card game about holographic monsters and do school work at the same time. Every kid's dream come true! Well, except for Shougo from the Toei movie, but screw him, that's not canon here. 

After zooming through yet another crowd at near sonic speeds, Jaden was busy getting on board the highly impractical, egotistical and overly expensive Kaiba Corp blimp that would take the students to Duel Academy. It seemed that the also highly impractical and expensive Blue-Eyes White Dragon Jet was just the tip of the iceberg for Seto Kaiba. Jaden had already checked in his baggage and endured the other hardships of the airport. Mainly security. Because for some unknown reason, the **METAL** duel disks that were **REQUIRED** to be worn if going to Duel Academy, caused the  **METAL** detectors to go haywire, forcing every student to go through the painstaking process of being examined for a bomb, or a gun. 

Eventually, Jaden managed to get to the front of the line. The tired-looking worker blankly stared at him. “Ticket?” he asked in a bored tone. Jaden fumbled around with his pockets and then took out his ticket and handed it to the worker. The worker scanned the ticket, gave it back to Jaden and let him aboard the blimp with a tired wave.

Once aboard, he headed for his designated seat on board the gigantic blimp. His seat happened to be a window seat in the middle floor of the ship at the front, one of the 1st Class seats aboard the Kaiba Corp blimp. In other words, it was the same thing as every seat on board, because Kaiba is rich. Soon a flight attendant came up to him and passed him a box, containing things he would need for Duel Academy. He placed the box beside him and sat down. 

Since this was a 1rst Class seat or a normal seat aboard a highly expensive aircraft, there was a table beside each of the seats to place things. On the tabletop was a button that would get rid of the table since nobody in their right mind would play a trading card game on a table. Each of the seats on board had been separated and had their own fancy tables, with the exception of window seats, where there were two seats beside each other with a table in front of them. 

After the worker left, Jaden leaned down and swiftly threw his head into the box. A normal person would have seen a new Academy duel disk… for some reason, even though they were required to bring their own, several of their respective colour uniforms and some complimentary deck holders. However, Jaden is not normal, as he forgot to open the box before diving in headfirst, meaning he went headfirst into the oddly hard cardboard. Dazed, he decided not to get up and instead rest his head on the box. It was at this moment the object-holding cardboard cube decided to cave in and his head bonked into the duel disk inside. On the bright side, his head was now in the box. On the downside, his head hurt like hell. Before he could recover, however, he heard a female voice beside him.

“Damn it, I got one of the shared seats! And the other person had to be a guy! I've been surrounded by idiotic perverts in the airport and now I have to deal with one beside me for this entire flight!” the voice ranted. 

Jaden sighed. From what he could hear, the person that would sit beside him was female and was also mad. Two things that would chemically create pain when merged together. He decided that the only thing he could do was try and make the angry female not so angry since he couldn’t run due to having a window seat, making his only exit, where the angry female was. 

Deciding to get the pain over with, he attempted to pull his head out of the box. 

… 

He couldn’t. 

Somehow, he had made a hole in the box large enough to fit his head going in, but not enough to account for his head when coming out. In other words, he was stuck. He tried for a bit to escape, before sighing in defeat. 

Outside of the box, the teenage girl beside him had finished ranting and was blankly watching the boy struggle in his cardboard head prison. When she saw the boy had stopped moving, she rolled her eyes and grabbed the sides of the box. 

Before Jaden could register that something else was holding the box, she pulled as hard as she could. The result was that the box managed to come clean off the boys head. However, she happened to have pulled from the bottom of the box, and out of the hole came the duel disk. Jaden didn’t even see it coming. 

**-WHAP-**

In an awkward, yet hilarious movement, the duel disk fell out of the box and smashed into Jaden’s temple, knocking him out cold. His body fell to the floor, no longer supported by his consciousness.

The girl just stared at the situation in partial amusement and partial shock. Suddenly, minutes after getting aboard the blimp, she had managed to find herself beside an unconscious boy. Yay. Shipping fodder, just what she needed.

Sighing, she leaned forward and took a good look at Jaden. The first thing that came to her mind was recognition as she realized that this was the boy who had beaten Crowler with a very obscure, yet amazing card. The second thing was alarm when she saw the spot where the disk had hit him. It was bleeding. The wound wasn’t life-threatening, but definitely should be treated as soon as possible.

As awkward as the situation would have been, she had no choice but to take him down to the first aid area of the ship. Carefully, she picked up Jaden’s stuff and placed it on his seat. Then, she contemplated how she would carry the unconscious boy in front of her. He was shorter than her and relatively light, so she decided to just carry him in her arms, somewhat resembling bridal style. With Jaden in arms, she walked out of the seating area and headed for the bottom floor, where the first aid center was. 

While walking, most of the other students turned around and stared at her while she walked. A lot of boys shot glares at the unconscious kid, but most of them stopped when they noticed the blood, running along his forehead. However, one of the kids who saw this was not pleased with this at all.  _ “How dare that totally unconscious kid who has no control over the situation he is in and is probably in that girl's arms because of an accident, take my future soulmate away from me!”  _ Chazz thought, glaring at Jaden as the girl walked past him.

She mostly ignored the attention that was sent her way, focusing her attention on Jaden. He was out cold but seemed content and dreaming as he shook a little bit while they walked. His face seemed very happy, something that she was a bit suspicious about until she heard him sleep talk a bit. “I… ac...tivat..e a Trap…. Card… heh…” the boy mumbled in his unconscious state. “Dueling in his dream… huh.” she quietly commented to herself. She looked up from the boy to see where she was and sighed in relief as the first aid center was right in front of her. She calmly walked in. 

In the first aid center, the doctors were both baffled that an injury had happened even before the flight had begun and also baffled at how the boy got hurt in the first place. Thankfully, all that was needed was some gauze to stop the bleeding and a bit of medication in case of headaches caused by the incident. Somehow, Jaden’s flawless body had escaped a concussion. For now. 

Soon after, the girl was busy carrying a now bandaged up Jaden back to their seats, before the flight even began. She received a similar reaction from her surrounding peers, but yet again paid no attention to them. When she got back onto the floor where this random adventure started, two familiar faces greeted her. “OMG Alexis! Why are you like holding a boy?” one of them asked. She was a somewhat short, hyperactive girl, with black hair that curled a bit at the back, wearing the standard Obelisk Blue uniform for women. “Did you like, reject him so hard you split his head or something?” the other girl asked. She was a brunette with long hair that spiked downwards, wearing an identical uniform to the other girl. 

Alexis sighed at her friend's tendencies to overreact. “Sorry girls, haven’t perfected my own version of the **“Mind Crush** ”, just yet. He just got into an accident and I was beside him, so I decided to help him out.” Alexis said, before walking past them and laying Jaden down onto his seat. After that, Alexis turned back around to chat with her friends before take-off. “So, Jass, Mindy, where are you girls seated?” she asked in a slightly more cheerful tone. The brunette, Jass, pointed towards the seats in front of Alexis and Jaden. “We got the seats in front of you,” she replied. 

She then turned around, expecting Mindy to come up with a following statement, only to see a Mindy shaped dust cloud beside her. Confused she turned around the other way to see Mindy on top of her seat. “Check this out, Lexi!” Mindy squealed, before pressing a button on her seat, rotating it, so it would face Alexis’s seat. Unfortunately, she was still on top of her seat, so when it rotated, she lost her grip and slammed into the seat. Thankfully, Kaiba Corp uses only the finest materials for the seats onboard their aircraft, unlike their duel disks, so Mindy was fine. 

Jasmine facepalmed. She then went to her seat and flipped the same switch, except she was on the floor, unlike Mindy, so she was unaffected by the rotation of the chair. She was, however, victim to her own high heels, and somehow she slipped on thin air, ending up in a similar position as Mindy. 

Alexis just sat into her seat, watching her friends scramble to get seated themselves with an amused smile. Conveniently, after they were all seated, the PA system aboard sounded. 

**-Attention Duelists, this is your captain speaking. We are about to take off. Here at Kaiba Corp Airlines, we don’t bother with safety announcements or demonstrations because our owner is obscenely rich, so feel free to look at the mandatory safety booklet in the bottom compartment of your table. Kaiba Corp is not responsible for your safety because our owner is obscenely rich unless you are a part of the Kaiba Corp rewards program, in which we ask for your patience as we make snide remarks at those who are not a part of the Kaiba Corp rewards program. Please remain seated until the seatbelt signal above you is shut off. After we reach our desired altitude, flight attendants will come by shortly to perform “services” towards those in the Kaiba Corp rewards program. For those who are not a part of the Kaiba Corp rewards program, you don’t get service. We thank you again, for being forced bc to choose Kaiba Corp Airlines, unless you are not a part of the rewards program, where the only message we have for you is **** you. Complimentary censorship is only available for Kaiba Corp rewards program members.-**

As the blimp began to take off, Alexis began to feel a weird feeling in the back of her head, as if she forgot something. At this point the blimp was still barely floating off the ground, main engines not turned on yet. Something was wrong, but she didn’t know what. She turned her head towards Jaden, still sleeping soundly, lying down in the seat like an adorable kitten. She looked back towards her fri- Wait, lying down in the seat?! She did a double-take and lo and behold, Jaden was indeed lying down in his seat. Without a seatbelt. Or anything else stopping his inertia from flinging him across the ship. Just before Alexis could correct the mistake, suddenly the blimp blasted backwards, sending the still unconscious Jaden forwards, as in accordance with Newton’s First Law.

The sudden movement sent the unconscious Jaden into the only thing in front of him. Mindy. Alexis and Jasmine winced and closed their eyes, bracing themselves for the inevitable scream that would ensue.

…

…

…?

Alexis slowly opened one eye and looked in Mindy’s direction in confusion. Upon seeing what had actually happened, both of her eyes were wide open and her jaw had dropped as far as it could. Jasmine followed suit. 

Instead of a screaming Mindy, throwing an injured Jaden off of her, instead, Mindy had both of her arms wrapped around Jaden’s arms and torso, cuddling and squishing her body against him in the same seat with stars glistening in her eyes, like a kid on Christmas morning. Somehow Jaden was still asleep. 

“He’s so cute and squishy~ I just wanna hug him forever~” she quietly squeaked, cuddling the still unconscious boy. Jasmine stared at her shocked. “I-Is.. W-wha… Let me try!” she quickly said, swiftly snatching Jaden out of Mindy’s arms, before squishing him herself. To her surprise, Jaden was indeed very squishy, like a Marshmallon plushy, and his content, childish sleeping face melted Jasmine’s heart. 

“You're like totally right! He’s super squishy and adorable~” she squealed in a more high pitch tone. Mindy pouted and reached her arms out to grab Jaden back. “Back off he’s mine!” she shouted while grabbing Jaden’s body back. Jasmine resisted. “You had your turn, gimme!” she shouted back. Soon, Jaden was being comically pulled from both ends by the seated girls. 

It was at this moment Jaden’s body decided to wake him up. “Huh?” 

Imagine his reaction as he was greeted with the sparkling faces of two teenage girls, both tightly holding him. “Uh.. wha-” he mumbled as the girls tightened their hold on him.

“OMG, his face is even cuter awake!!!”

“So cute~” 

Alexis groaned. This would take a long time to explain. 

...

\---

It was about an hour after the initial incident. Alexis had finished introducing everyone to a very confused Jaden and explaining exactly what had transpired for him to end up in a situation that most men would enjoy. The blimp was now at the desired altitude and the sounds of “service” were being heard all across the blimp. The satisfied sighs of students that had finally reached the climax… of their 5 star meals.

“So… that… ugh… happened.. Ah, uh.. Anyways… thanks, Alexis… ow!” Jaden stammered as he was still stuck in the iron grip of the two females who were fawning over his “cute” looks.

“Um, you're welcome? I feel like trying to pry off Mindy and Jasmine off at this point would be… difficult. Um, do you need anything Jaden? You kinda didn’t finish unboxing and stuff before you got knocked out.” Alexis replied plainly. 

“Um.. yeah! Can you place the things from the box into the above compartment, please? Didn’t get a chance to do it since I was well, unconscious.” Jaden said, still unable to move.

“Alright, let me just-” Alexis began. However, little did Alexis and Jaden know, that his suitcase was not properly locked. 

The second Alexis opened the compartment, a literal flood of Kuriboh plushies flung out of the compartment, completely filling the area that the 3 girls and 1 boy were in with them. This only further encouraged Jasmine and Mindy. “OMG HE HAS LIKE SO MANY PLUSHIES!” Jasmine screamed. “Cuuuuuuuute~” Mindy squealed. Jaden sighed in embarrassment. “Forgot about… suitcase…” he mumbled, trying not to drown in the sea of plushies. 

As the commotion escalated, people surrounding the area began to take an interest in what was going on. It wasn’t every day you would see 2 girls surrounding one guy in a sea of plushies aboard a highly expensive blimp. Chazz, on the other hand, was infuriated. “How? We haven’t even gotten to Duel Academy and he already has more attention than me! I’ll make that bastard pay! The Chazz Princeton Way!” Chazz grumbled.

\---

Eventually, several hours had passed. The blimp had finished docking at Duel Academy and the students were disembarking from the ship. One student, in particular, was having a… difficult time getting off of the blimp. This person happened to be Jaden Yuki, with Mindy and Jasmine plastered to his legs as he slowly made his way off the blimp. Since she had nothing better to do, Alexis simply tagged along, watching Jaden slowly reach the main academy building. Somehow, he had managed to change into his uniform onboard without Mindy and Jasmine attached to him. He donned a blue jacket that was as long as a trench coat and the rest of his outfit matched the jacket. Jaden was placed in Obelisk Blue, most likely a piece of work by Crowler. 

Soon, all the new first-year students were gathered in the main auditorium of the academy. Somehow, Jaden had conveniently managed to get as far away as possible from Jasmine and Mindy (With the sacrifice of many Kuriboh plushies) and was currently standing with the rest of the new freshman students, right beside his friends Syrus and Bastion, who may or may not had helped dislodge Jasmine and Mindy from him. 

Then, the cartoonishly large HD screen in the auditorium lit up, revealing a bald man dressed in a red jacket. Most of the students recognized him. The others, mostly first-year Obelisks, wondered who the giant, bald Slifer Slacker was. They were given an answer by none other than Crowler himself. 

“For all of you who are wondering who that person on the big screen is, well… He is none other than Sheppard! The Principal of Duel Academy!” Crowler shouted. This caught several people off guard, mostly the first-year Obelisks. “Our school is led by a Slifer Slacker? What is this bullshit?” an arrogant Obelisk who is not Jaden yelled. Crowler scowled at the Obelisk boy. “Open your eyes, young scholar. He wears not a red jacket but a **slightly** **darker red** jacket!”

A chorus of “Ohhh’s” and “Ahhh’s” came from the crowd of oblivious kids. Sheppard facepalmed, but no one could tell. His screen was static. Suddenly, the screen shifted to him with his mouth open, and then closed, with no sound. This caused even more confusion. Then a buffering circle appeared for a few seconds.

**“I wa- To we- Du-...”**

Random noises began to come out of the speaker, almost as if the speaker was cutting off 80% of the noise that was supposed to come out. Crowler groaned, before grabbing a megaphone and yelling through it. “SHEPPARD!!! YOU ARE LAGGING!!! STOP USING YOUR BROKEN ASS FLIP PHONE THAT IS SOMEHOW IMPERVIOUS TO MY SLEDGEHAMMER AND USE THE COMPUTER. NO ONE HERE CAN UNDERSTAND YOU!” he screamed, almost making everyone else in the room deaf.

**“Fu- u- Cro- ler-...”**

More cut off words came out of the speaker, but this time everyone understood perfectly. 

“GAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!” Crowler shouted, still having his megaphone on. Everyone else groaned in defeat. This was going to be a very long opening ceremony. 

\---

After droning through the loudest and most pointless argument they had ever heard, at least for those who could still hear since at least 10 students went deaf from the assembly, everyone went for their dorms. Syrus was sent to the Slifer Red dorm, Bastion made it to Ra Yellow, and as for Jaden, he was lost. Like very lost. After moving around for a bit, trying to find his dorm, despite being the most obvious building on the island besides the actual school building, he managed to make it to the Obelisk Blue… dueling arena. 

“Huh… where the actual hell is the dorms?” Jaden wondered out loud. Several Obelisks who were watching a duel and turned around head Jaden’s footsteps behind them and was about to kick him out, until they saw his blue jacket, showing that he was an Obelisk just like them. One of the Obelisks that was sitting in the stands noticed Jaden and called him out. “So, you're the kid who beat Crowler huh? I guess Obelisk Blue does fit you for that. My name is Chazz Princeton, the future King of Games, and those who say otherwise, get taught a lesson the Chazz Princeton way! And what I mean by that is that we beat the everloving shit out of you.” Chazz yelled arrogantly. 

Jaden narrowed his eyes. “O..kay then. That’s… a way to introduce yourself…” he said carefully. He was about to walk away before something, or rather someone… or rather someone and someone else rammed him from the side, knocking him to the ground. Jaden paled when he realized who they were. 

“You thought you could escape us, squishy boy, ~”

“But you can’t~”

“Oh god please someone help, they're going to crack me up… literally… my spine… help!” Jaden cried as Jasmine and Mindy had latched themselves upon him once more. All the other Obelisk boys almost felt jealous, until they heard a “CRACK” in which they instead felt very happy they were not in Jaden’s position. Even the loner, emo Chazz was thankful he wasn’t being bearhugged by the two unusually strong girls that like to latch onto squishy people. For that reason, he was also thankful his skin wasn't very squishy. Thank god caviar and edible gold don’t do that to a person despite both being very soft foods.

Thankfully for Jaden, his saving grace came up to him. An even stronger woman with a temper that can break the fourth wa-

**(Authors note: AHHHHHHHHHHHH SHE’S COME FOR ME… I mean continue the stor- AHHHHHHHH THAT'S A RAZOR SHARP NAIL FILER!!!!)**

-ll. In other words, Alexis had come to unlatch the parasites. And when I mean parasites, I mean boy-hungry girls who are somehow single in a girl-hungry boy school. 

“How about instead of latching onto Jaden, we go and get to the Obelisk welcoming dinner. You know. The thing we are going to be late too if we don’t run now.” Alexis warned. 

Everyone got the message and the only thing left in the arena was a bunch of comically shaped dust clouds… and apparently a random sign with a chibi Jaden head on it with the words **“I LEFT THE ROOM”** written on it. 

\---

The Obelisk welcoming dinner was an extravagant party in the Obelisk Blue dorm, containing only the finest of wines- wait they are too young to drink that… uh… I mean the most extravagant beers- no… that's alcoholic too… uhhh... screw the legal age of alcohol! I have 4th wall powers! They were all drinking responsibly anyways… at least 5% of them were… ah, fuck it. It was a fucking baller party that nobody remembered and since Duel Island is owned by Seto Kaiba, he makes the rules… which means there are none since he screwed them all.

**(Author's Note: This is a one-time occurrence for a “screw the rules” joke and should not be treated seriously. I do not condone the illegal drinking of alcohol for minors. Also, this will be magically retconned tomorrow, so no hangovers lol.)**

As for Jaden, Alexis and Chazz, all of which were conveniently alcohol intolerant, they instead were munching on extravagant fermented milk curds… I mean cheese, as well as black and salty fish eggs… I mean caviar, as well as only the best slimy stuffed snails… I mean escargot… actually, that's the same thing, but in a different language… huh.

As the three not drunk teenagers in a room full of very drunk teenagers, despite most of them only drinking very weak wines, they did the most sensible thing possible. Take as much food as possible and run. They ended up eating their very fancy food in the nearby school building, in a hallway on a table. 

“I hope they don’t serve alcohol like that every day,” Jaden commented while biting down on some gold-covered fried shrimp. 

“I agree.” Chazz and Alexis both replied, both finishing… some rich food of some sort. 

After finishing, Chazz remembered what had happened on the plane with Jaden. Now was the perfect time to impress Alexis and get her out of Jaden’s arms. Even though it was the other way around on the blimp.

“By the way Jaden, I challenge you to a duel! An ante duel!” Chazz yelled loudly. 

Jaden looked up from his fried shrimp. “But where can we duel? There is a table here, and why would anyone play a card game on a table?” he replied nonchalantly.

Chazz wagged his finger in Jaden’s face. “Well… I’ll show you how we do it the Chazz Princeton way,” he said as he grabbed the table and threw it across the hallway. Or he would have if it wasn’t bolted to the ground. Instead, he lightly pressed a button on the side of the table and it went into the ground. 

“Huh, well now that the evil and the undesirable table is gone… I’ll walk into your very obvious trap that can easily get us both expelled!” Jaden yelled loudly. 

“Wait, what?” Chazz said, legitimately confused. 

Alexis face-faulted. “Ante duels are illegal and against the rules here at Duel Academy. Anyone caught doing it can face very severe and unknown consequences,” she said.

“SCREW THE RULES! I HAVE MONEY!” Chazz yelled in defiance. “And I’m 99.999% sure Seto Kaiba has more,” Jaden replied with a smirk. 

Chazz stared at Jaden, infuriated, but realized that he was right. “Fine. No ante rule! Duel!” he yelled, activating his duel disk.

Jaden in turn, activated his own. “Get your Kuriboh’s on! … I mean get your balls on… screw it! Duel!”

**[Jaden Yuki] vs [Chazz Princeton]** **  
** **-4000 LP Duel, Jaden goes first.-**

“Alright, I’m up first!” Jaden yelled, grabbing 6 cards out of his deck. He took a careful look at them and smirked. He had a hand of only Spell Cards. Normally, a person would frown at this as this meant he couldn’t summon a monster, or protect himself next turn since he had no traps. However, if you look closely at his hand, you will realize that his hand is actually flawless. His cards were; Graceful Charity, Pot of Greed, Chorus of Winged Kuriboh’s, Flute of Summoning Kuriboh, Monster Reborn and finally Card of Sanctity. 

**(Author’s Note: Card of Sanctity will have it’s anime effect since I hate its real effect.)**   
  
Jaden sent a confident smirk towards Chazz and placed his cards into his duel disk. “I activate  **Pot of Greed** !” I now draw 2 cards!” he yelled, drawing two new cards. He looked at them and smiled. “These will come in handy later. What an oddly convenient draw!” he said out loud. 

“Now I use my  **Graceful Charity** to draw three more cards, but I need to discard two of them!” Jaden said. He drew and discarded. He got rid of two of the cards he drew but kept the last one, which was his Dark Magician Kuribon. 

“Now here comes the fun part! I play  **Flute of Summoning Kuriboh** , and chain it with  **Chorus of Winged Kuriboh’s** !” he yelled. 

Chazz blankly stared at the two Spell Cards. 

“This sweet card lets me summon my  **Winged Kuriboh** from my Deck in Attack Position, and the other card lets me summon 2 more!” Jaden said, grabbing his trio of Winged Kuriboh’s and placing them on his duel disk.

(Winged Kuriboh) Lv 1 x 3

Atk: 300 Def: 200

“Your move Chazz! I end!” Jaden yelled triumphantly. 

Chazz growled and drew. “Alright, I’m taking down your flying hairy balls now! **Lighting Vortex** !” Chazz yelled, placing a Spell Card depicting some lighting… in a vortex, in his duel disk.

Jaden mocked gasped at this. “Oh noes, mah hairy ballz! Thou hath sent them to the great beyond! Oh, woes is me!”

Chazz blankly stared at Jaden before moving back to his turn. “By discarding one of my cards, I can use this to destroy all of your Kuriboh’s!” Chazz yelled back at Jaden. 

True to his word, lightning came and blew up the angelic Kuribohs. But Chazz was not done yet. “Now prepare yourself for the not censored version of  **Monster Reborn** !” he said, placing another Spell Card in his duel disk, this one depicting a blue ankh. 

Jaden performed another mock gasp. “Oh god! It’s horrible! You can totally see it’s ankh!” Jaden yelled in mock fear.

“It lets me perform the ultimate task of revival! I revive my  **Bowganian** , the card I used to activate  **Lightning Vortex** !” he said, as a one-eyed monster with a crossbow appeared on the field. 

(Bowganian) Lv 3

Atk: 1300 Def: 1000

“But he won’t be staying long!” Chazz said, flipping a card in his hand, revealing it towards his opponent. 

“I Tribute Summon this!  **Legendary Fiend** !” Chazz yelled triumphantly. 

(Legendary Fiend) Lv 6

Atk: 1500 Def: 1800   
  


“And I end my turn with a face-down since your Kuriboh would negate the damage anyways!” Chazz said, as his facedown materialized on the field.

Jaden looked at the field with concern. Then his face changed into a smile. Chazz looked at him in confusion. Just what was so funny? 

“Chazz… why don’t you look at my duel disk a bit closer?” Jaden taunted while drawing a card. The card he drew was just a Kuriboh which he smiled at. 

Chazz rolled his eyes and looked, before noticing that there was still a card on Jaden’s field. The Chorus of Winged Kuriboh’s. 

“Wait! It’s a Continuous Spell Card?” Chazz wondered out loud.

Jaden smiled. “Yup, it is. And by destroying my Winged Kuriboh’s, you activate its second effect! As long as those Kuriboh’s are sleeping soundly like adorable angels in the Graveyard, I can draw a second card every other turn!

Chazz growled. “Grrr! Whatever, just do your turn!” he yelled.

“I am! First I draw another card!” Jaden yelled. He took a look at the card he drew and smiled. He had drawn a Parasite Kuriboh, something he could use later. But after a bit of thought, he stared at the cards he miraculously drew from his Pot of Greed. It was absolute luck he had managed to draw them, but now was the perfect time to use them.

Jaden looked back up and stared at Chazz. “Alright. First I should clear something up first!” 

“Huh, what do you mean?” Chazz wondered. 

Jaden smirked at Chazz’s cluelessness. “My deck is not only made up of Kuriboh’s!” Jaden yelled, catching the undivided attention of his peers. 

“WHAT???” the two others yelled.

Jaden internally chuckled at his peer's reactions. “I’ll prove it! With my  **Black Illusion Ritual** card! One of two very convenient draws from Pot of Greed!” he yelled as a pot with the millennium eye appeared in the middle of the field. 

Chazz paled when he saw the pot that is not of greed. “Wait… convenient draws? No… you can’t have drawn that!” he cried out. 

“Yes. Yes, I did. I summon,  **RELINQUISHED** ! Bwahahahahahah!” Jaden maniacally cackled.

(Relinquished) Lv 1 Ritual

Atk: 0 Def: 0

Alexis and Chazz both gasped as a super cute Kuriboh from Jaden’s hand jumped into the pot and a less super cute Relinquished came out of the pot. 

Jaden looked at Chazz’s face with glee. “So I’m sure you're aware of the ability contained within  **Relinquished** ?”

Chazz’s jaw just dropped to the ground. “Yeah! How did you get a card that rare?” he asked.

“I went to a store. I bought a silver plastic container containing trading cards and then opened the container.” Jaden deadpanned. This caused Chazz to have an anime fall.

Back with Jaden, he was ready to activate the ability contained within Relinquished. “Alright  **Relinquished** ! Prepare to assimilate that really cool looking fiend!” he yelled triumphantly.

Relinquished didn’t move at all. Chazz saw this and sighed in relief, right before his Legendary Fiend somersaulted into the hole inside of Relinquished, thereby assimilating himself and adding its attack and defence to Relinquished, causing Chazz to groan in despair.

Jaden’s smile got even wider as he revealed a card in his hand. “Now I summon my trusted and most adorable partner,  **Dark Magician Kuribon** !” he yelled.

(Dark Magician Kuribon) Lv 2

Atk: 300 Def: 200

Dark Magician Kuribon Atk 300 - 1500 

For once, Chazz smirked. “ **House of Adhesive Tape** ! Activate! This Trap attracts a monster with 500 or less Defence Points and subjects them to eternal adhesive tape hell in the Graveyard!” Chazz dramatically said.

Jaden didn’t back down, even as the House appeared and swallowed up Kuribon without resistance. “Well, jokes on you Chazz! My  **Dark Magician Kuribon** has a Damsel In Distress fetish so HAH!” he said. 

Chazz and Alexis paused for a second to process exactly what Jaden had said. Then they proceeded to stare at him in disbelief, before remembering this was the same kid who thought that jumping into the stadium from the stands, several meters high, was safe. 

Jaden realized what he had said and quickly covered it. “Uh, I mean…  **MONSTER REBORN** !”

Jaden grabbed a censored version of Monster Reborn and played it on his duel disk, reviving his Dark Magician Kuribon. 

The first thing Chazz noticed was that the monster was blushing. Then, he realized that Dark Magician Kuribon has a permanent blush just like Dark Magician Girl. Huh… 

Jaden then pointed towards Chazz. “Alright my monsters! Attack Chazz directly!” he yelled. 

Relinquished fired a giant beam at Chazz, knocking him off his feet from the non-existent impact of the beam. Then, Dark Magician Kuriboh fired her giant Kuriboh fireball at Chazz, slamming him into the ground, despite being a hologram, causing him to cry out in pain. 

Chazz LP 4000 - 1000

Jaden cheered. “Alright! This duel is almost over!” he yelled. 

Chazz slowly got up and with anger in his palms, he drew. He looked at the card he drew and smirked. “I play  **Brain Control** !” he yelled, catching Alexis’s attention. 

_ “Oh no! This definitely changes everything! Jaden barely has a hand, while Chazz has plenty of room for a comeback, especially with Brain Control. He’s in trouble now! He has no cards on the field, and no way to… wait a minute…”  _ Alexis thought to herself. 

Back in the real world, Chazz was explaining how his card worked. “Anyways, my ultimate card of destruction takes 800 of my well-earned Life Points and…”

“Let me guess… lets you control them.” Jaden said in a monotone voice. 

Chazz was visibly disturbed. “What! Impossible, how did you know the effect of this card?” 

“Well, I’m in Obelisk Blue… and it’s literally called  **Brain Control** .” Jaden replied. 

“Oh yeah, it is…  **Brain Control** ! Take that pesky  **Relinquished** of his!” Chazz yelled. 

A brain with random ass green hands came out of nowhere and snatched Relinquished and Legendary Fiend, bringing them onto Chazz’s side of the field. 

Chazz LP 1000 - 200

Jaden took the opportunity. “I discard  **Parasite Kuriboh** ! Not only does this give  **Dark Magician Kuribon** more attack points, but it replaces all non-Union Equip Monsters with  **Parasite Kuriboh Tokens** ! So no counter-attacking for you!” Jaden confidently yelled. 

Dark Magician Kuribon 

Atk 1500 - 1800

Relinquished 

Atk 1500 - 300

Def 1800 - 200

Chazz grinned. “Who said anything about attacking? I know  **Relinquished** is a troublesome monster so I’m getting rid of it!” Chazz boasted. “I Tribute Summon-”

“You lose,” Jaden said the moment Relinquished was tributed. 

“What?” Chazz said, before noticing his Life Points had indeed hit 0.

Chazz LP 200 - 0 

**Winner: Jaden Yuki**

Jaden laughed. “Chazz, when you get rid of a monster who has a Parasite Kuriboh attached to it, you lose 500 Life Points,” he said in a relieved tone.

Chazz couldn’t believe it. He lost! What could he do now to get back at Jaden? 

…

Of course! The Chazz Princeton Way!

Chazz pointed towards Jaden. “Grrr! Screw this duel! Let’s handle this the Chazz Princeton Way, and what I mean by that, I mean the beat the everloving shit out of you way!” he yelled.

Alexis was about to intervene until her highly trained ears heard something from down the hall. Upon recognizing what it was, she blurted it out to the boys who were about to brawl.

“Uh guys, the party is over… so we're about to be in the way of a bunch of teenagers who were partying… hard.” she said with a slight tone of fear.

The boys got the message. Run. Didn’t mean Chazz liked it though. “Damn it! For some reason, this stops me from just walking over to you and beating the absolute shit out of you. But someday, you will be subjected to the Chazz Princeton way!”

Jaden rolled his eyes and sighed. “Let's just run now and deal with our newfound rivalry later!”

“… Agreed” Chazz reluctantly replied as the trio ran towards their rooms, comically carrying tons of wood and nails to barricade Jaden’s door since Jasmine and Mindy would definitely be coming by. 

And so, the first day of Duel Academy had ended.

\---

(To be continued in Chapter 3: Sitting On Syrus’s Face)

\---

Parasite Kuriboh (Earth) Lv 1

ATK: 300 DEF: 200

Insect/Effect

You can discard this card; you can replace all Non-Union monsters that are being treated as Equip cards with a Parasite Kuriboh Token (Lv 1/Insect Atk: 300 Def: 200) (this is a Quick Effect). Any monster equipped with a Parasite Kuriboh Token cannot deal Battle Damage and deals 500 damage to its owner’s LP when removed from the field. 

\---

Chorus of Winged Kuriboh’s (Spell)

(Continuous Spell)

If you have 1 “Winged Kuriboh” on the field, you can special summon all other copies of “Winged Kuriboh” from your deck and/or hand onto the field. If all three Winged Kuriboh’s are in the GY, you may draw one extra card during your Draw Phase every other turn.

\--- 

Jaden Yuki’s Current Deck: Kuriboh, Relinquished Deck

Chazz Princeton Deck: Marik Deck

\---

Here’s an OC card that will be used Next Chapter:

Masochist Kuriboh (Light) Lv 1

ATK: 300 DEF: 200

Fairy/Effect

You can discard this card; Gain 500 LP. This monster cannot be destroyed by battle. If you take LP damage from a battle involving this monster, gain 1000 LP.

\---

**Hope you enjoyed this chapter! - Miracle**

\---


End file.
